It is the Family that comes first
It is the Family that comes first
A child is born and from that moment it acquires a family. The family, we all know, constitutes of Father, Mother, Husband, Wife, Sons, Daughters, Grand Parents, Siblings, Uncles, Aunts, Nephews and Cousins. We all grow in such a social set up; we slowly acquire other relationships – neighbors, community, schoolmates and friends in general by passing of the age. These people keep changing or the contact and intimacy diminishes as time passes by. Very rare, at circumstances, are few persons in life, continue to be good friends and continue to be in contact and maintain that age old intimacy.
We find very often, meeting friends and other relations after a long time gap, maybe it might be in terms of years or decades for that matter. We meet, talk of our good times mostly, have a laugh or a smile, have a cup of coffee or lunch and again disappear. We never know when we shall meet them again. So this relationship is mostly short lived.
So, it is the family that is always with us in contact right from birth till death. No matter the age old tradition of joint family, it has almost lost its identity. But the relation which comes through blood has a deeper value and compassion. Be it in India, America, Britain, Brazil, China, Australia, Japan, Ireland or any land.
Bad times are the real test of each and every relationship. I find that it is the immediate family that comes first. It is the first to be counted. It is also taken for granted. It is also expected and accepted of. Whatsoever hardships and strained ties one has; those are forgotten, if not forever, at least for the time being when there is chaos in the family.
It may be that someone is suffering from serious illness and has been admitted to hospital, be it an accident, operation or something. It is the family that comes first. Even the hospital people expect the family to be there by the side. It is the family who are informed of the death first. So, it is the family that comes first.
By writing this post I would only want to make know and plead that it is always good as far as possible to maintain cordial relationship with the family first. An outsider is always an outsider. I do not underestimate the relationship one has maintained with an outsider, the love and compassion they share is to be appreciated, and at times they are the ones who also come first. But it is then an individual experience worth applause.
My Dear All, please share your experiences and thoughts, I know it varies from individual to individual. But the fact is “It is the Family that comes first”.
Grand Old Man in Hospital with Family
November 28, 2016 at 1:18 pm
An interesting post – family definitely comes first! Of late I have begun to notice that possibly because of nuclear families that stay far apart, it is friends who tend to be available and offer greater support. Just my thoughts and viewpoint.
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 29, 2016 at 3:30 pm
Dahlia!
This is a great observation and you are right. Being nuclear families all over it is the nearest and dearest of friends who come for support and that adds great courage.
In a way we should always be in good rapport with almost all, we never know who shall come of help at what times, isn’t ?
Thanks for adding your esteemed view.
Shiva
🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 29, 2016 at 3:50 pm
Thank you Shiva – appreciate your generous response to my comment 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 28, 2016 at 1:33 pm
You have made some very important points, Shiva.
It is hard to accept family whose values reject our own, but that is what we try to do.
Much to ponder here, especially for us in America right now.
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 29, 2016 at 3:24 pm
Beth!
I accept what you said that is most times the crux of the matter. Values do not match.
I had wanted you to read the previous post, “The sky wonders at me”
https://theshivasponder.wordpress.com/2016/11/19/the-sky-wonders-at-me/
I am sure you shall like it.
Have a nice day.
Shiva
LikeLike
November 28, 2016 at 1:46 pm
Very valid point sir. But sometimes when I see members of same family conspire against each other and do backbiting it really hurts. Thanks for a great post and good pictures.
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 30, 2016 at 5:03 pm
The family has the right, I think to do that. What to do we move in close circles and may be that is the reason. The interactions are now and then which brings to human behaviour to the core. But still you say it is a great post, that is the wonder of a family trait. YOU agree?
Thanks
Fondest Regards,
Shiva
LikeLike
November 28, 2016 at 2:24 pm
A lovely post, Shiva, and true. Our children are in the U.S., separated by half a world, but we keep in touch by telephone and email. They’ve been here to visit. My husband’s family is here. Great pictures. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 30, 2016 at 4:57 pm
Maam! Suzanne I wonder, I admire you.
Nothing more to say.
Thanks
Shiva
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 28, 2016 at 2:33 pm
I think family and friends come first for me, but I have to remember to care for myself too. If I do not care for myself, I cannot take care of my family and friends…
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 30, 2016 at 4:54 pm
Brigid! Oh! One should and must take care of their own selves; that is the best part anyone can and must do. The more we take care of our own selves the better. I would always want to do that.
Brigid My Dear, I would not as much, would not want to depend on anyone. I pray, let me close my eyes having not to depend on anyone. Please do not tell anyone, Shhhhhhhhhhhh! Blessings to you. The flow of Blessings do come from you, I know. Thanks.
Love to You,
Shiva
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 1, 2016 at 10:59 am
Blessings to you too Shiva.
LikeLiked by 2 people
November 28, 2016 at 5:27 pm
A real food for thought I would say, Shiva.
Definitely family comes first, and that too its only the immediate family. But due to the present life style and circumstances relationships remain distant. What so ever when need arises often there’s the friend in deed. :))
Thank you for the post :))
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 29, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Shahz!
Yes you right these days we find the family being far away it is the friends who come of help. So it is always good to maintain cordial relation with friends also.
We never know when and how; who shall come of help. Sometimes it might be strangers too. I have experienced this some time back when we had met with a severe accident near Delhi.
Thanks!
Shiva
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 30, 2016 at 4:20 am
Oh sorry to hear that !! Hope all’s well with you by now.Have a Good day :))
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 30, 2016 at 7:25 am
Oh! that was almost twenty years back, in which we lost two important lives and a driver. That is something which brings me down whenever I remember but at the same time it has made us learn so many things. It was during that time even strangers came of help, just passers by. Relatives and friends where the only ones who were like god sent. OMG! that is a big story it may take more than six hours time to explain in person, so it is better to leave it there.
I am having a good day and even if you are not having you must go on saying it. This is life My Dear!
Going ahead is the only mantra.
Regards,
Shiva
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 1, 2016 at 4:41 am
I’m so sorry once again for your loss Shiva. May they rest in peace. 🙏🙏🙏
Calamities are inevitable, brave is the one who stays strong and has faith. I’m so glad to have come across such a person. All the very best in your future endeavors :))
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 28, 2016 at 6:11 pm
Yes of course they do matter a lot to us, a great post
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 29, 2016 at 2:51 pm
Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 30, 2016 at 10:56 am
I have always loved my family and all the joy that they bring into once life, but I am talking as per experience, sometimes family and friends too can become your worst enemies. I know it’s a positive vibrational words that you tend to vehiculate, but sometimes we have to show the other side of the truth also. Nice day//night to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
November 30, 2016 at 1:14 pm
You are right in all respects.
We cannot not do anything about those people in the family too.
There always people to help around.
This world is an amazing place.
The more you wonder the more it shows its tentacles.
Thanks Christa!
Shiva
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 1, 2016 at 7:00 pm
There is no doubt with that, Sir. Blood relations matter in the long-term; your friends (even close) might chose to pursue their own paths one day, but not parents or siblings (though there are some exceptions here).
LikeLike
December 2, 2016 at 7:25 pm
Bonsoir ou bonjour
Depuis que l on se connaît
Notre Amitié est devenu un gros cadeau
Comme pour Noël
L’amitié des jours est un quotidien
Une pluie de gouttelettes scintillantes
Un immense et magnifique jardin
Une envie de tout entreprendre
L’amitié est là pour résumer, la base de la vie
Une toute petite corde qui nous lie qui peut-être incassable
Passe une douce journée avec ce petit porte bonheur à l’approche des fêtes
Bisous , Bernard
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2016 at 3:37 pm
“Since that we know each
Our friendship became a big gift
As for Christmas
The friendship of days is a daily
A shower of glittering droplets
A huge and beautiful garden
A desire to do everything
Friendship is there to sum up, the basis of life
A small rope that binds us perhaps unbreakable
Have a sweet day with this little lucky charm for the holiday season approaches
Kisses, Bernard”
This is the translated version I am rewriting it in English.
I admire and adore your friendship.
Thanks so much Bernard.
Shiva
xoxo
LikeLike
December 3, 2016 at 2:39 pm
You are right Shiva, if we are fortunate to be born into a loving, caring family we should always keep our family first and not take them for granted. We believe that they will always be there until one day when they are not, then we wish we had spent more time with them or been kinder to them or whatever. So yes take the time now to keep family first and foremost each and every day! Wonderful post!! Thanks Shiva. Hope your family is well!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 3, 2016 at 9:47 pm
Thanks Deb. That was the purpose of writing this post. It therefore comes from a person such feeling who has always cared and loved one’s family.
My family is good Deb and that is the reason I could write in this manner.
Your encouraging comment always inflates mine and other’s enthusiasm. Have a nice Sunday to observe a design on Monday.
Laugh 😀 as much to show you 😢 cry.
Shiva
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 3, 2016 at 11:23 pm
Thank you Shiva, your words are kind! Your last two comments are quite interesting and have given me pause to decipher them. Thank you.
Wishing you a wonderful week, enjoy our family!!
Deb
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 4, 2016 at 5:40 pm
Yes Deb you decipher, you shall know. I am enjoying our family.
Shiva
🌷
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 4, 2016 at 10:11 pm
You’re so right Shiva, family are so important in my life.. We’re there to support each other through thick and thin… We’ve had a few lemons thrown in our direction this year so thank goodness we’ve had each other to support us through the rough times and enable us to enjoy and appreciate each other and the ‘good times’… Thanks for this lovely reminder! x
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2016 at 3:32 pm
That’s it Wendy, the rough and good times are always there for a family too.
I am happy you found it good for you and the reminder.
Blessings to you and your family.
Shva
xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2016 at 4:21 pm
Thanks Shiva and blessings to you and your family too! xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2016 at 12:14 pm
This is very interesting Shiva..i am currently living afar from my family.. my birth family, and though we are oceans apart we always make sure we never lose contact of everyone… and one a year i would pay them a visit…it would warm my moms heart to know that come christmas break we will visit them again..
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2016 at 1:32 pm
This is very interesting Mich, you make it a point to visit Mom and the family although they are all oceans apart.
This is what I call the family tie and the love we share.
Blessings to you and your family.
Thanks
Shiva
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 5, 2016 at 1:47 pm
To you too Shiva..😇😇
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 10, 2016 at 6:34 pm
Shiva! It’s been a long time- my fault really. I have been busy with my family, especially my 8-year-old son, Jy. Thank you for asking about him! Thank you for this special post. You make me think about my priorities, which family is always high on them. You are a great person and seem to have your priorities in order. Your messages are always positive and shine through with every word. Thank you for brightening my day my friend! I’ll be better about posting more and checking in on you! 🙂 I love your pictures. Thank you for sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 11, 2016 at 5:55 am
Ipuna! Your love for your family is evident in your comment. It also shows how much you love the family. Your Son, Jy is fine as I saw him yesterday in your other posts. I had to comment on them but it was late and I had to go to sleep, I shall come there again and read your other posts as well.
See, our priorities are to many and they are divergent. When it comes to certain times, we start thinking, it should or it is the family that should or could come first. As you said have we or had we given the priority to the family in the past. This is crux of the matter. This is what the post also wants to say. You have laid your priorities well my Dear, keep it going.
Do post more, ‘THE WORLD NEEDS YOUR WORDS’.
For your Sunday, I would like you to read my post “…the coming ends” its in my poetry menu. No matter here is the link.
https://theshivasponder.wordpress.com/2016/10/10/the-coming-ends/
Go here that wonderful music on those videos, I would not like to tell more about it. You shall tell me how good it is. I hope you shall make your day.
There are other poems written lately you may go through them.
Fondest Regards,
Shiva
LikeLike
December 31, 2017 at 5:39 pm
Nice post…..family come first…….as you go far in life… You get to meet more family in organization….belief..every where….
I still like the post
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 29, 2022 at 8:28 am
Tears in my eye Shiva on reading this. Thank you for sharing 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 29, 2022 at 12:35 pm
Ohhh Margaret I read the article again. Yes it moved you because I feel you have had that experience with the family isn’t…. They are the ones to be….
Thanks for digging into my blog posts.
There are others too, one which I want you to read I hope you will you love it if you have loved your father. The post also tells below the poem of my big family and….. Below is the link.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 29, 2022 at 1:59 pm
Where is the link Shiva please?
LikeLike
May 29, 2022 at 6:16 pm
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 30, 2022 at 3:57 am
Apologies, read my likes & comments in reverse order for some reason.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 30, 2022 at 4:40 am
Need not Apologise at all, I understand. Thanks Margaret
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 30, 2022 at 3:59 am
I would need to do a blog post regarding my family, perhaps at a later date Shiva.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 30, 2022 at 4:39 am
Ohhh You do it don’t give time. We will enjoy it definitely.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 30, 2022 at 6:21 am
Thank you Shiva.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 29, 2022 at 12:37 pm
Please read and comment. Thanks soo much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 29, 2022 at 2:00 pm
Hi Shiva,
Thanks. For some reason I read your replies in reverse order 😣 Will visit later.
LikeLiked by 1 person
May 30, 2022 at 5:10 am
Please do, I know you will extract much because I know you are a Soul
LikeLiked by 1 person