It is the Family that comes first

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It is the Family that comes first

A child is born and from that moment it acquires a family. The family, we all know, constitutes of Father, Mother, Husband, Wife, Sons, Daughters, Grand Parents, Siblings, Uncles, Aunts, Nephews and Cousins.  We all grow in such a social set up; we slowly acquire other relationships – neighbors, community, schoolmates and friends in general by passing of the age.  These people keep changing or the contact and intimacy diminishes as time passes by. Very rare, at circumstances, are few persons in life, continue to be good friends and continue to be in contact and maintain that age old intimacy.

We find very often, meeting friends and other relations after a long time gap, maybe it might be in terms of years or decades for that matter. We meet, talk of our good times mostly, have a laugh or a smile, have a cup of coffee or lunch and again disappear. We never know when we shall meet them again. So this relationship is mostly short lived.

So, it is the family that is always with us in contact right from birth till death. No matter the age old tradition of joint family, it has almost lost its identity. But the relation which comes through blood has a deeper value and compassion. Be it in India, America, Britain, Brazil, China, Australia, Japan, Ireland or any land.

Bad times are the real test of each and every relationship. I find that it is the immediate family that comes first. It is the first to be counted. It is also taken for granted. It is also expected and accepted of. Whatsoever hardships and strained ties one has; those are forgotten, if not forever, at least for the time being when there is chaos in the family.

It may be that someone is suffering from serious illness and has been admitted to hospital, be it an accident, operation or something. It is the family that comes first. Even the hospital people expect the family to be there by the side. It is the family who are informed of the death first. So, it is the family that comes first.

By writing this post I would only want to make know and plead that it is always good as far as possible to maintain cordial relationship with the family first. An outsider is always an outsider. I do not underestimate the relationship one has maintained with an outsider, the love and compassion they share is to be appreciated, and at times they are the ones who also come first. But it is then an individual experience worth applause.

My Dear All, please share your experiences and thoughts, I know it varies from individual to individual. But the fact is “It is the Family that comes first”.

Malala in Hospital Image 1.jpeg

Malala while in Hospital 

Family Visits Grand Father Image 1.jpg

Grand Old Man in Hospital with Family

Bill Young in Hospital Image 1.jpg

 Congressman Bill Young with full Family 

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36 thoughts on “It is the Family that comes first

    Dahlia said:
    November 28, 2016 at 1:18 pm

    An interesting post – family definitely comes first! Of late I have begun to notice that possibly because of nuclear families that stay far apart, it is friends who tend to be available and offer greater support. Just my thoughts and viewpoint.

    Liked by 2 people

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      November 29, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      Dahlia!
      This is a great observation and you are right. Being nuclear families all over it is the nearest and dearest of friends who come for support and that adds great courage.
      In a way we should always be in good rapport with almost all, we never know who shall come of help at what times, isn’t ?
      Thanks for adding your esteemed view.
      Shiva
      🙂

      Liked by 2 people

        Dahlia said:
        November 29, 2016 at 3:50 pm

        Thank you Shiva – appreciate your generous response to my comment 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    bethbyrnes said:
    November 28, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    You have made some very important points, Shiva.

    It is hard to accept family whose values reject our own, but that is what we try to do.

    Much to ponder here, especially for us in America right now.

    Liked by 2 people

    world4womencom said:
    November 28, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Very valid point sir. But sometimes when I see members of same family conspire against each other and do backbiting it really hurts. Thanks for a great post and good pictures.

    Liked by 2 people

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      November 30, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      The family has the right, I think to do that. What to do we move in close circles and may be that is the reason. The interactions are now and then which brings to human behaviour to the core. But still you say it is a great post, that is the wonder of a family trait. YOU agree?
      Thanks
      Fondest Regards,
      Shiva

      Like

    patriciaruthsusan said:
    November 28, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    A lovely post, Shiva, and true. Our children are in the U.S., separated by half a world, but we keep in touch by telephone and email. They’ve been here to visit. My husband’s family is here. Great pictures. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 2 people

    watchingthedaisies said:
    November 28, 2016 at 2:33 pm

    I think family and friends come first for me, but I have to remember to care for myself too. If I do not care for myself, I cannot take care of my family and friends…

    Liked by 2 people

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      November 30, 2016 at 4:54 pm

      Brigid! Oh! One should and must take care of their own selves; that is the best part anyone can and must do. The more we take care of our own selves the better. I would always want to do that.
      Brigid My Dear, I would not as much, would not want to depend on anyone. I pray, let me close my eyes having not to depend on anyone. Please do not tell anyone, Shhhhhhhhhhhh! Blessings to you. The flow of Blessings do come from you, I know. Thanks.
      Love to You,
      Shiva

      Liked by 2 people

    Shahz said:
    November 28, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    A real food for thought I would say, Shiva.
    Definitely family comes first, and that too its only the immediate family. But due to the present life style and circumstances relationships remain distant. What so ever when need arises often there’s the friend in deed. :))
    Thank you for the post :))

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      November 29, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Shahz!
      Yes you right these days we find the family being far away it is the friends who come of help. So it is always good to maintain cordial relation with friends also.
      We never know when and how; who shall come of help. Sometimes it might be strangers too. I have experienced this some time back when we had met with a severe accident near Delhi.
      Thanks!
      Shiva

      Liked by 1 person

        Shahz said:
        November 30, 2016 at 4:20 am

        Oh sorry to hear that !! Hope all’s well with you by now.Have a Good day :))

        Liked by 1 person

          Shiva Malekopmath responded:
          November 30, 2016 at 7:25 am

          Oh! that was almost twenty years back, in which we lost two important lives and a driver. That is something which brings me down whenever I remember but at the same time it has made us learn so many things. It was during that time even strangers came of help, just passers by. Relatives and friends where the only ones who were like god sent. OMG! that is a big story it may take more than six hours time to explain in person, so it is better to leave it there.
          I am having a good day and even if you are not having you must go on saying it. This is life My Dear!
          Going ahead is the only mantra.
          Regards,
          Shiva

          Liked by 1 person

            Shahz said:
            December 1, 2016 at 4:41 am

            I’m so sorry once again for your loss Shiva. May they rest in peace. 🙏🙏🙏
            Calamities are inevitable, brave is the one who stays strong and has faith. I’m so glad to have come across such a person. All the very best in your future endeavors :))

            Liked by 1 person

    boundlessblessingsblog said:
    November 28, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    Yes of course they do matter a lot to us, a great post

    Liked by 1 person

    Christa chn said:
    November 30, 2016 at 10:56 am

    I have always loved my family and all the joy that they bring into once life, but I am talking as per experience, sometimes family and friends too can become your worst enemies. I know it’s a positive vibrational words that you tend to vehiculate, but sometimes we have to show the other side of the truth also. Nice day//night to you.

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      November 30, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      You are right in all respects.
      We cannot not do anything about those people in the family too.
      There always people to help around.
      This world is an amazing place.
      The more you wonder the more it shows its tentacles.
      Thanks Christa!
      Shiva

      Liked by 1 person

    Alok Singhal said:
    December 1, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    There is no doubt with that, Sir. Blood relations matter in the long-term; your friends (even close) might chose to pursue their own paths one day, but not parents or siblings (though there are some exceptions here).

    Like

    bernard25 said:
    December 2, 2016 at 7:25 pm

    Bonsoir ou bonjour

    Depuis que l on se connaît

    Notre Amitié est devenu un gros cadeau

    Comme pour Noël

    L’amitié des jours est un quotidien

    Une pluie de gouttelettes scintillantes

    Un immense et magnifique jardin

    Une envie de tout entreprendre

    L’amitié est là pour résumer, la base de la vie

    Une toute petite corde qui nous lie qui peut-être incassable

    Passe une douce journée avec ce petit porte bonheur à l’approche des fêtes

    Bisous , Bernard

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      December 5, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      “Since that we know each

      Our friendship became a big gift

      As for Christmas

      The friendship of days is a daily

      A shower of glittering droplets

      A huge and beautiful garden

      A desire to do everything

      Friendship is there to sum up, the basis of life

      A small rope that binds us perhaps unbreakable

      Have a sweet day with this little lucky charm for the holiday season approaches

      Kisses, Bernard”

      This is the translated version I am rewriting it in English.
      I admire and adore your friendship.
      Thanks so much Bernard.
      Shiva
      xoxo

      Like

    Deb said:
    December 3, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    You are right Shiva, if we are fortunate to be born into a loving, caring family we should always keep our family first and not take them for granted. We believe that they will always be there until one day when they are not, then we wish we had spent more time with them or been kinder to them or whatever. So yes take the time now to keep family first and foremost each and every day! Wonderful post!! Thanks Shiva. Hope your family is well!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      December 3, 2016 at 9:47 pm

      Thanks Deb. That was the purpose of writing this post. It therefore comes from a person such feeling who has always cared and loved one’s family.
      My family is good Deb and that is the reason I could write in this manner.
      Your encouraging comment always inflates mine and other’s enthusiasm. Have a nice Sunday to observe a design on Monday.
      Laugh 😀 as much to show you 😢 cry.
      Shiva

      Liked by 1 person

        Deb said:
        December 3, 2016 at 11:23 pm

        Thank you Shiva, your words are kind! Your last two comments are quite interesting and have given me pause to decipher them. Thank you.
        Wishing you a wonderful week, enjoy our family!!
        Deb
        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    Wendy said:
    December 4, 2016 at 10:11 pm

    You’re so right Shiva, family are so important in my life.. We’re there to support each other through thick and thin… We’ve had a few lemons thrown in our direction this year so thank goodness we’ve had each other to support us through the rough times and enable us to enjoy and appreciate each other and the ‘good times’… Thanks for this lovely reminder! x

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      December 5, 2016 at 3:32 pm

      That’s it Wendy, the rough and good times are always there for a family too.
      I am happy you found it good for you and the reminder.
      Blessings to you and your family.
      Shva
      xo

      Liked by 1 person

        Wendy said:
        December 5, 2016 at 4:21 pm

        Thanks Shiva and blessings to you and your family too! xx

        Liked by 1 person

    michnavs said:
    December 5, 2016 at 12:14 pm

    This is very interesting Shiva..i am currently living afar from my family.. my birth family, and though we are oceans apart we always make sure we never lose contact of everyone… and one a year i would pay them a visit…it would warm my moms heart to know that come christmas break we will visit them again..

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      December 5, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      This is very interesting Mich, you make it a point to visit Mom and the family although they are all oceans apart.
      This is what I call the family tie and the love we share.
      Blessings to you and your family.
      Thanks
      Shiva

      Liked by 1 person

    Ipuna Black said:
    December 10, 2016 at 6:34 pm

    Shiva! It’s been a long time- my fault really. I have been busy with my family, especially my 8-year-old son, Jy. Thank you for asking about him! Thank you for this special post. You make me think about my priorities, which family is always high on them. You are a great person and seem to have your priorities in order. Your messages are always positive and shine through with every word. Thank you for brightening my day my friend! I’ll be better about posting more and checking in on you! 🙂 I love your pictures. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

      Shiva Malekopmath responded:
      December 11, 2016 at 5:55 am

      Ipuna! Your love for your family is evident in your comment. It also shows how much you love the family. Your Son, Jy is fine as I saw him yesterday in your other posts. I had to comment on them but it was late and I had to go to sleep, I shall come there again and read your other posts as well.
      See, our priorities are to many and they are divergent. When it comes to certain times, we start thinking, it should or it is the family that should or could come first. As you said have we or had we given the priority to the family in the past. This is crux of the matter. This is what the post also wants to say. You have laid your priorities well my Dear, keep it going.
      Do post more, ‘THE WORLD NEEDS YOUR WORDS’.
      For your Sunday, I would like you to read my post “…the coming ends” its in my poetry menu. No matter here is the link.
      https://theshivasponder.wordpress.com/2016/10/10/the-coming-ends/

      Go here that wonderful music on those videos, I would not like to tell more about it. You shall tell me how good it is. I hope you shall make your day.
      There are other poems written lately you may go through them.
      Fondest Regards,
      Shiva

      Like

You have come all the way , May be crossing Seven Oceans , Mountains and Forests, would you not want to say something instead of going Bare Handed.........

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